by Randy Ooney     

My Nickel’s Worth                           by Randy Ooney

 

Name That Ball

 

Baseball equipment has names: bat, ball, helmet, shin guard, chest protector; Football also has a helmet, shoulder pads, knee pads, and face mask.  So what do bowlers call their equipment?  Cell, Dimension, Inferno, Secret Agent, Black Widow, Twisted Fury, etc.  I’m thinking the auto namers from car manufacturers retired and went to work for the makers of bowling balls.  It’s true that Wyatt Earp or Matt Dillon may have taken a Mustang to work, as I did years ago.  Explorer seems like a good name for a vehicle, but where do they come up with Avalanche, Tahoe, Sedona, Prius, and Element?  Actually Boxster might be a more descriptive name for the Element rather than the sleek Porsche that it is. 

 

So to get back On Track , I’ve come up with a few new names for bowling balls for 2009:

 

For super high performance try the Incrediball  or a Ballistic.

 

How about a Bawl  - excellent choice for John Kreyer

Jingle Ball  - Oh what fun it is

Strato Sphere - will take your game to new heights.

 

For the Baby Boomers, Great Ball of Fire - bowl like Jerry Lee Lewis; Rolling Stone - bowl like Mick Jagger, or Lucille Ball  -  Available only with dyed red finger grips.

Ball  Four  -  A walk to the foul line

Foul Ball -  Careful, this one may reach the seats

Hi Ball  -  good choice for my pal, Dan Pritchard

Lo Ball  -  sure to be Lumpy’s favorite.

Eye Ball  -  Available in standard or bloodshot edition for those

                   New Year’s Day sweepers.

Beer  Bally  -   (no drock comments here please).

Ball oon  -  Extremely light weight

Ball oney - Did you know Oscar Mayer was a bowler?

Ball room  -  Makes those pins dance

Mar Ball  -  Available in steelie, peerie, or cats eye

Snow Ball  -  Gets bigger as it rolls down the lane

BroomBall  -  Great for those pre tournament sweepers.

Inaugural Ball  -  Endorsed by President elect Obama.

Ball State -  A favorite among collegiate bowlers.

CaBalla  -  comes in camouflage or blaze orange.

Wiffle Ball  -  lots of extra holes.

Crab Ap Ball  -  Available exclusively at On Track Midway.

Pin Ball  -  Probably the most applicable name for a bowling ball.  Too bad it has already been used on those machines found against the wall.

 

Finally, just released, Ball Dropping in Times Square.

 

Happy New Year everyone!!!!

 

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