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by Randy OoneyMy Nickel’s Worth by Randy Ooney
My Nickel’s Worth
Tiebreaker
‘Tis the season to be jolly. Deck the halls with holly and mistletoe, sing “Auld Lang Syne” to your old acquaintances, and roast chestnuts by the open fire while discussing the tiebreaker system for playoff positions in the NFL. ESPN and other sports networks can sometimes devote an hour show to the playoff possibilities. I wanted to explain the NFL system in this article, but it occurred to me that I have no idea what it is.
Recently in an MSC tournament, I was involved in a tiebreaker. Normally in the cashing positions, the prize money is divided equally among the competitors, however in the event that the tie involves the stepladder, tiebreaker rules take effect. I found myself tied with the benevolent Mr. Lindquist for the sixth position in the tournament, and since we had not had a head to head match that day, the second tiebreaker was based on scratch score before match play bonuses. Jim had the edge there so I happily accepted the 7th position. I always respect my elders. Besides, the next tiebreaker level in the Midwest Senior Classic was number of natural teeth in your mouth, and Jim would have had me there also. One of my colleagues suggested we strip down to our shorts, guzzle a beer, and race one lap around the parking lot of the bowling center. The temperature was about zero, and we Norwegians don’t normally indulge in those shenanigans unless it’s at least 10 below, so that was out.
But some other tie breaking possibilities came to mind for future situations:
Who can hold the most filets of lutefisk in one hand. Generally the guy with the longest fingernails would prevail with a total of one.
The best rendition of “New York, New York”, sung in the karaoke bar wearing a Packers number 4 jersey.
I found out this year you can actually break a tie that doesn’t exist by recounting all the votes, as long as there is a lot of arguing, bickering, and litigation to accompany the action.
You could also break a tie by guessing closest to the number of times Nick Punto pops up or bunts foul. It would probably take too long to determine the outcome, but it would at least be settled before the aforementioned recount thing.
Flipping a coin is a bit generic, but always popular. The problem there is in this economy, who has a coin?
But there is a moral to the story. For tournament directors and promoters, have a plan in place to keep everyone happy in case of a tie. It’s not something you want to decide after the tie occurs. And for tournament players, remember what your mother taught you years ago. Always wear clean underwear, in case you’re tied with a fellow Norwegian and a guy from Wisconsin is making the rules.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all my friends at mnbowling.com !!
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