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by Randy OoneyMy Nickel’s Worth by Randy Ooney
Turkey 2019 Good Grief, time has flown and it’s time to consider candidates for turkey of the year. The turkey committee met this year at Treasure Island, sort of a Turkey casino that has macaroni and cheese in its buffet. First, I should mention myself, for last month, failing to list Earle Brown Bowl, Maple Lanes, and Maplewood Bowl that are no longer with us. I drive by the empty Earle Brown building frequently and it seems to have been abandoned. Maple Lanes building is now a reception center that probably would be happy to serve turkey at a wedding. On to baseball. I have decided to lay off Haystack Sano because, in spite of all the strikeouts, he seems to make a contribution to the Bombaz squad. However, I have to nominate Byron Buxton this year. He is certainly a great center fielder, but gobble gobble Buxton, you need to stay healthy and on the field. Justin Verlander had a great year as usual, however two losses in his final two games must have hurt. Hey Worthington MN, turkey capital of the world ! Better build a huge turkey barn for the Minnesota Wild and Timberwolves. They will need a resting place for a long season ahead. Kirk Cousins has done a decent job for the Purple, however he seems to have laid turkey eggs in Green Bay and Kansas City. Shape up Kirk ! Television ads are boring and where do these companies get the money to save you when they are obviously spending some of your premiums on advertising. Certainly happy that Medicare and supplement ads should end December 7. I expect Joe Namath has earned enough for a new Cadillac. When I was younger, (Many years ago) TV remedies included medical solutions such as Bayer, Anacin, Pepto Bismol, and other products you could buy off the shelf at a local drugstore. Now you have to “Ask your doctor” if some outrageously expensive pills are right for you. I wonder if the pricing includes the cost of advertising. Finally, we have the outrageously stupid car insurance ads in which all of the major insurers will sell you insurance for less money than the others. This leads me to name the Honorable “Turkey of the Year” -- The GEICO GECKO ! By the way, I guess we are all stuck with Black Friday ads, but I will not patronize any retailer that opens their doors on Thanksgiving….period. And Happy Happy Thanksgiving everyone !!
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