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by Randy OoneyMy Nickel’s Worth by Randy Ooney
XLVII
It’s a little known legend passed down from generations long ago. On the 2nd of February, if the groundhog sees his shadow, the Superb Owl rises from the groundhog hole and energizes the Raven. During two weeks of anticipation, I expected some analysis and bantering regarding the teams involved. Instead we revisited tripe about whether Ray Lewis really killed two people, whether he used velvet deer antler extract, and had to listen to Randy Moss claim that he is the best receiver of all time.
Before we go any farther, I am happy to visit the Chris Paul celebrity and pro event for charity which has now become an annual staple for those of us that do not care to watch the seven hours of pre game. Chris Paul is not as good a bowler as he is a point guard, however I respect the fact that he has lent his name and energy to a worthy cause. This year he has also acquired ownership of one of the PBA teams in the new league. Of course I remember the Minneapolis Skippers of 1961 in the National Bowling League which only lasted a few months, so I will watch PBA league bowling with some doubts. The winner of the celebrity event in Chris Paul’s tourney was none other than Quinton Aaron. If you are not familiar with Quinton, he has appeared in a number of movies; but he is also employed by Brunswick as a mannequin for the tailor when they are sizing up shirts for drock. Chris Barnes and Billy Hardwick’s son Chris took the Pro/Celeb portion, and it seemed everyone had a good time.
On to the Super Bowl. This is probably the only sporting event of the year when people go to the toilet during the action so they don’t miss any of the commercials. A few ads were released early on you tube, which is really disappointing to Super Bowl ad purists. I did not see any that surpassed my all time favorites – The E*Trade Chimp doing a dance for 25 seconds with the caption “We just blew two million bucks, what are you doing with your money”. The other is Betty White and Abe Vigoda playing touch football. This year, as always, Budweiser was a huge sponsor, not only pushing Bud Light, but also a new Black Crown Label. So belly up to the bar and holler “Here wego”. Doritos spent a few million again, there must be big profits in corn chips. I really don’t care who likes the cookie or the cream filling in Oreo cookies. I get tired of seeing them in crossword puzzles, and I am not allowed to eat the cookie or the cream. Go Daddy always has beautiful girls in their ads to sell their product. This year they added a chubby looking nerd and a kissing scene that made me wish I would have skipped the ad and gone to the bathroom.
The Volkswagon ad with the Minnesota reference made no sense to me. What accent was that guy trying to use to speak? He sounded more like a German guy from Boston! The Kia ads were equally over my head. It’s these Madison Avenue types that are still wearing Zubas made from American flags to work that are trying to be funny but are more successful at just being stupid.
Hats off to the Dodge Ram folks for their depiction of the farmers of our country! My great uncle Bill was a lifelong farmer in Siren, Wisconsin; and I have a cousin in law with a dairy farm in California. Where would we be without farmers?
Although we only heard from one beer company this year, both Pepsi and Coke rolled a few ads our way. Although I am a Pepsi drinker in real life, my nod for Super Bowl commercial of this year goes to the pink Coke bus cruising the desert. Maybe I am partial to Las Vegas showgirls, or maybe the big bottle of Coke reminded me of the signature sign at AT&T Park in San Francisco, or maybe the bus just reminded me of all the “Love Pink” garments that the Texy Ladies wear on Friday nights, but Bud, “This Coke’s for you”.
The Giants won the Series in October, but the 49ers will have to settle for runner up. It was an entertaining game, but Niners – your coach is a jerk. Congratulations Ravens !
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